Chapter 13

 

    "Friendships are both delicate and deep. On the one hand, they’re the most transitory of our close relationships. They come and go across our life span, depending on where we’re living, going to school, and working; and how our personal interests shift and evolve...For much of our lives, friendships are the most important close relationships we have. Our friends keep us grounded and provide us with support in times of crisis. When lovers betray or abandon us, or family members drive us crazy, it’s our friends we turn to for support. "(page 375)

    Friendships can be extremely challenging. Betrayal in friendships can look like breaking confidences, backstabbing, spreading rumors/gossip, and lying. Geographic separation can be hard too and can led to friends growing apart. Another challenge friendships can face is when one has attraction to the other when feelings are not recuperated. Following the 'friendship rules' can help friendships succeed. By showing support, seeking support, respecting privacy, keeping confidences, defending friends, avoiding criticism, making your friends happy, manage jealously, sharing humor, and maintaining equality, friendships can continue to grow and blossom in a positive manner. Some strategies for maintaining friendships include sharing activities and enjoying hobbies, interests, and time together. ""Of course, most of us have several friends but only finite amounts of time available to devote to each one. Consequently, we are often put in positions in which we have to choose between time and activities shared with one friend versus another. "(Page 367.) Try to make equal time with all friends to ensure loyalty in the friendship. Be sure to also create and maintain conversations, discussions of thoughts, feelings, and daily life events are very important for disclosure and keeping up to date.