Chapter 12

     There are two factors that underlie the communication between family members. The first is how often and how much family members engage and participate in interactions. Families with high conversation orientation believe that frequent, open communication is essential. They can engage freely and enjoy their time and conversations together. The second factor is conformity orientation, or the degree to which families believe communication about beliefs and values should be very similar or can differ. High Conformity families' interactions can highlight and enforce uniformity in thoughts. They can be seen as more traditional since the kids often agree with the parents. My family is more on the low conformity. My parents always gave us enough information so we know about topics but can ask questions freely and form our own ideas and opinions on it. With the generational gaps it can sometimes be fun to negotiate and talk about differences in beliefs, and values. 

    All family's relationships, just like most others, need constant maintenance. Three important strategies for doing so are positivity, assurances, and self-disclosure. Positivity includes communicating with family members in an upbeat and hopeful way. This means doing favors without being asked, giving gifts unexpectedly, investing energy into enjoyable experiences, and avoiding complaints about family problems that have no solutions. Reassuring family members and how much they mean to you are also important. "Self-disclosure in family relationships means sharing your private thoughts and feelings with family members and allowing them to do the same without fear of betrayal. You do this by treating other family members in ways that are consistent, trustworthy, and ethical." (Page 338.)