Chapters 3, 4, & 7

 Chapter 3 

    A big take away from this chapter for me was the circumstances that really effect communication. As we learn on page 70 of the textbook, three big influences on perception are culture, gender, and personality. I feel like upbrings and what is happening in our lives also can be really big factors is how we react in a conversation. Using schemata is really key here; anytime I talk to people or about something I really try to relate it to something that has happened to me, or that I have witnessed. I have had a lot of very close friendships, and everyone is different because how we interact and how long we have been friends. The things we have in common or things we have been through together definitely create a sense of feeling closer with the person; really relating to the uncertainty reduction theory. The longer I am friends with someone the more comfortable I am around them and the more I feel we can talk about. Around family members too. I guess they can count as "my" in groupers. I have lived around or with these people for a long time so I am very comfortable and there are so many inside jokes we have or little stories that wouldn't mean anything to others. I think it's a very personal thing and I can truly cherish those relationships and I am glad that for the most part communication is easy with them. 

Chapter 4

    I feel like I do not really take time to really pinpoint the emotions I am feeling. I never analyze them or take the time to label how I feel in different situations. Recently I lost a friend, and it was the first time in a long time when I really had to think about what I was feeling to process losing them. I was sad at first, but after a while I really was angry. At myself mostly, but also at the situation. I did not feel listened too and so desperately wanted to reach out just to talk about what had happened and to receive some sort of closure on the event. I did not, but sometimes that anger kind of fades back in and I have to remind myself to cool off and that being angry will not change anything. I felt like I suppressed the emotions a lot at first, but soon met up with my close friend Kash to vent and explain how I felt and what had happened. 

    When reading about the Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, I felt like trying it out. I feel like being aware of the negative thoughts are really the first step and if I can change my thinking on the situation, or similar situations I have had it would be very beneficial long term. Same with reappraisal and acceptance. I feel like I really need to work on accepting what happened and changing my point of view or emotions into something that is not as negative and hurtful. I still really enjoy the memories and time I had with my old friend, and I do not want those memories to change into something that's harmful because they are so important to me. 

Chapter 7

    I have always taken pride in being told I was a good listener and that I offer solid advice most of the time. I really try my best to focus solely on the person talking so I can really attend to their needs and respond accurately. I, however, feel as though sometimes I let irrelevant thoughts get the best of me in conversations and will sway was off from the topic at hand. I want to try out mental bracketing to really try and only focus on what the topic is. If it is important, it will find its way back later on. I think I am a people-oriented listener, or at least that is a big one for me. I truly try to think about information I am given before forming an opinion or explaining. I really cherish deep talks, or controversial questions, etc. I am going to try and incorporate the other listening styles, or at least bring awareness to them when they are happening. I also am really bad at eavesdropping and narcissistic listening. I do not mean anything bad by it, but I do frequently catch myself listening in on others and making conversations about me/relating them to me.